If I may be vulnerable for a moment, I’d like to confess that I suffer from elf anxiety. I am actually in recovery now as my kids are both teenagers, but for years I struggled with the seasonal disorder. I’m now in the PTSD phase, but in the spirit of recovery I’d like to share a piece I wrote a few years ago when I was right in the thick of it.
Columbus, OH 2016 Every year just after Thanksgiving, I look forward to unpacking all our Christmas decorations. I pull out the boxes, and the kids and I would put everything in its proper place. However, there was one holiday decoration I wished I could leave in the bottom of the box.
The Elf on the Shelf really triggers my anxiety. I hate to admit it, but this little guy really knows how to push my buttons.
As I said, I love almost everything about Christmas. From the decorations to the lights to the music and traditions, I l really do love it all. It’s just that darned Elf and his enormous expectations!!
It’s not that I dislike elves in general. The movie Elf is a classic. I love that Buddy the Elf and his Pop-tart pasta with syrup. And how could you not root for the little misfits: Herbie the dentist and his friend Rudolph?
It’s only the Elf on the Shelf who stresses me out! The holiday season is busy enough, and the pressure he adds just pushes me over the top. I feel judged!
Every night, I’m expected to come up with some clever thing to do with the Elf, or some funny place to put him. There are photos and ideas on Pinterest and all over the web about it.
Somehow, I’ve gotten on an email list that sends me ideas an inspiration for my elf. When they suggested that I soak the elf’s feet in a bath of marshmallows and call it a spa day, I decided that I’d rather leave the elf on his shelf and have my own spa day.
My kids show me You Tube videos of all the clever things those other elves do. Someone’s naughty elf actually wrapped their entire Christmas tree in holiday paper. I’m lucky to get all the gifts wrapped. Never mind ribbons and bows.
Then there’s the Elf Shaming. My daughter comes home from school with stories of all the silly and clever things that her friends’ elves did. She tells me that she doesn’t feel like our elf’s antics are worthy of sharing. Am I being judged or is it classic mom guilt?
Plus, the pressure lasts the entire month of December! That means 24 nights of anxiety. 24 days of trying to think of something new and different.
There have been nights when I have finally climbed into my warm bed after an evening of wrapping gifts. I’m half asleep when I am jolted awake by the realizations that I have forgotten to do anything with the elf.
I’m certain that I am not the only one with elf-anxiety. A friend posted a funny picture on You Tube of an elf wearing a full leg cast. He left a note for the children saying that he wouldn’t be able to move from the shelf for 2-3 weeks. That’s one smart mom.
I hate to come across as a Grinch because I really do love Christmas, and all the fun traditions for our kids. Maybe we can just shorten the elf’s visit from the North Pole? How about a nice, 3-day weekend? Who’s with me?
I mean no offense to any Elf lovers out there. I applaud your enthusiasm and perseverance. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.
So, whether you love the Elf…or count down the days to his departure, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Andra Gillum is the author of the children’s books Doggy Drama, Puppy Drama, Old Doggy Drama and Lost Doggy Drama. Learn more or order online at www.doggydrama.com. Like us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/doggydrama.
If you work for a school or know of one who would be interested in an author visit, please contact Andra at andrag@wowway.com. Follow Andra on Twitter @GillumAndra